There was greatness and an untamed beauty about him. Naturally confident and sporting a charming enigmatic smile that would melt all frustration you had with him. That is how I will remember Andrew. The same visuals are not available to his grieving broken spirited mother. Her heartache is that they exchanged ambivalent words in their last interaction and she had optics of his mangled, mutilated body that he flung into oncoming traffic. How does one ever move on from such tragic loss and guilt?

The fragility of life and living is everywhere if you would just stop and really see. I knew Andrew and his family for three years. All was not well in this nuclear unit since the time of his conception some 20 years ago. He was not wanted by his father and the emotional abandonment never left his sensitive heart. Even self medication with cannabis and alcohol only offered temporary relief. This was a child in need - in need of love, security and understanding. Nobody really was listening at home and it's too late now.

I offer his family my presence and share comforting words of how much he loved his mother and siblings. There is very little to offer his father and I won't fabricate anything. I encourage the mother to write daily letters to Andrew and this brings a smidgen of momentary release. This is a long, arduous journey and I will be there at her side during her hospital stay and beyond.


  1. Is there a child in your midst that needs a touch of your love and attention today?

Written by Dr Rani Samuel
Clinical Psychologist