Most people tell me that they would like stability and security in a relationship. This is the sense that we can somehow allow another human being to provide us with a sense of ongoing and consistent emotional wellness. I have to wonder how many people are really efficient in providing a daily dose of this elixir to their emotionally dependent partners.

No one wakes up in a great mood everyday. Not many are really thinking of you and your sense of emotional tranquility and consanguinity. No, people are too preoccupied with their own tangled thoughts, fractured emotions and future concerns. You don't feature very high on their emotional priorities for the hour. It is therefore not surprising that disorientation persists. The sense that I am not exactly sure where I stand with someone...dare I say it...even your own spouse? Yes, you could be married but you are now tired of his ongoing restlessness, career dissatisfaction or even seasonal depression. Marriage was supposed to bring stability but that is not your daily experience.

So where does real stability lie? It lies in the source and core of all things. It lies in the heart of your creator. Unchanging, unconditional stability - total peace. Stop looking to another human being - however enlightened to anchor you. Only God can do that superhuman job. And when you take the pressure of your partner you instantaneously open the doorway to greater emotional intimacy.


  1. Who is your anchor and rock?

Written by Dr Rani Samuel
Clinical Psychologist