Deconstruction

This was going to be a tough first consultation. He paced up and down in the waiting room and she stood defiantly at the front door with her face turned away from him. Once inside the privacy of my office they verbally attacked each other with incidents of failures, lies, deceit and unkept promises. Accusations of emotional neglect, infidelity and stalking kept their story close to the exploits on reality television. Why was there so much confusion, denial and high drama in a couple that knew each other for ten years and had young twin daughters?

The fundamental root of their dilemma was indecision. Their relationship began as an affair that eventually led to marriage. A year into marriage the wife initiated a swift divorce. Post divorce the twins were conceived. They now continued in a saga that brought no closure or resolution to the relationship. They were divorced but expecting marital privileges.

The bottom line is that marriage is a covenant. It is a sacred bond between a couple and God. It is not to be entered into lightly. Divorce too is a serious matter. It is an acknowledgement between a couple and God that the relationship has ended and that each person needs to be healed and restored. Both commitments need to be respected for 'whatever is loosed on earth is also loosed in heaven'. I challenged the couple to choose a single direction because the Kingdom is a place of order and protocol.

Reflection

  1. Are you struggling to make a decision about a significant relationship?
  2. Choose a direction and stick to it!

Written by Dr Rani Samuel
Clinical Psychologist